Akshmani Poornanshi Tekam
Foundation Level Student
During the pandemic, each and every one of us was frustrated and stressed. Sitting at home, workless and aimless got some people to discover their talents while the others drowned in exasperation. Having nothing to do, people started behaving aggressively and became a machine of uncontrolled emotions and that is where a light of hope was seen “Self development”.
Self development is the process of consciously improving oneself in various aspects of his/her life. It is the pursuit of personal growth and development by improving personal skills, competencies, knowledge and talents. In an easier way, it helps a person find the original and more humanitarian being inside him. Although self development looks like it has everything good in it but as the saying goes “A coin has two sides’ ‘, self development also has two sides. The one which is in front of us is all good but the one that didn’t come to our notice is the toxic and dark side. We, having no or less knowledge about ourselves, start finding ways to know ourselves more and more, more about our body, more about our mind and everything going in it. We go through many books and videos as recommended by our friends and family and from all our connections. One starts believing that if he got all those books read and all the self development programmes attended that’s it, that’s what it needs to be a ‘Perfect human’ and let me bring it to you, that’s not the truth. These books and programmes just give an illusion of you achieving the highest peak, the ultimate Everest of consciousness and all sense. It fakes all your success. These programs and books will give a sense of motivation and a bubble of success around you which makes you the most praised person of all times but as it breaks, everything is shattered.
Now when we’re talking about self development or self-help, does this question arise in your mind as well, “Why do we need self development, what does it do with our natural self?”. Let me answer that question for you, one needs self development when he accepts that he is incomplete or imperfect. When he is craving for love and affection and appreciation from people, when it seems that all the wrong you are facing is solely due to your missing puzzles, that’s when one tries to find out ways to fit in properly with help of books or self-help videos. Although some self help books are great and actually tie up with the truth, others are just a waste of time. Some programmes are business based which have nothing to do with your emotions, all they need is money and money.
What do these programmes do to you?
Firstly, As soon as you read plenty of books and watch videos or join these self-help programmes, you are charged with dopamine which accelerates your emotions to win and achieve success, you are so charged up that you believe in accomplishing all your work in a short time just to be unique from anyone else and in case you succeed in doing so you think the task is done, you have achieved your true self and this is what’s called ‘Action faking’. Surely you are doing work, working harder and harder to achieve what you have prolonged for but you are working for the sake of working and not for actual success. If you keep going without enjoying the process you will start getting stressed and so much stress will lead to procrastination which will be the hurdle on the way to success. Secondly, only some of the self help books are the real ones which actually make you put effort into discovering yourself, rest are just business, ‘The sinister business of selling hope’. You might find a video or a book and get fascinated by the contents it gives you for self-help and get addicted to that and you keep on buying, completing one and buying another. This not only drains your mind but also drains your pocket. At the end you will have nothing left except your empty pocket to put your hands into. These programmes which promise to give you everything you need to reach success are just selling emotions and have no true reality. Thirdly, the toxic positivity, once you start reading books after books, books after books you might start getting positive and feel better about yourself. The reality still stays the same that all the positivity and confidence you are feeling right now is a bubble which will keep you protected until it breaks and as it breaks it will leave you with nothing but dejection and despair. Fourthly,the Hustle culture which is the most fantasized and romanticized one. Social media is highly responsible for this, one reads quotes on facebook or instagram which puts in them a sense of motivation and they feel so excited that they start everything right and then. Though it is good, what it actually does is give a habit to get motivated only after seeing such a video or such quotes. Once you’ve done motivating yourself with such quotes and videos or books then these are just words to you and a time will come when you lose all hopes and motivation.
“Everything you are searching for is already within you”. To achieve success in life you definitely have to be motivated, to achieve your dreams you need motivation but when you aren’t motivated then you need to be disciplined. Everything requires Discipline more than motivation, discipline to face every situation in the way of your success and that’s when you need no source to keep you motivated. Just keep all the excuses and procrastination aside and ask yourself that you are ready to take on all difficulties to achieve what you want. If the answer is yes then you already have the fire within you just give it a shot and prove yourself that you are the best and you need none to praise you. The time you start praising yourself and your work you will never need any self help video or book, you will start loving and believing yourself and that’s when you have developed yourself into a ‘Perfect human’.
